was rather busy working these days, will be working till my whole holiday ends.
Something happened recently, okay, not some, its many, much. Idk how to sort it all out. If only I'm stronger, strong enough to withstand all these pain. I'm sleeping with a heavy heart almost every night, worrying. Idky. Things just keep going through my brains, they went in and out then maybe have a sit to rest awhile and then start running rounds again.. Flashbacks and many other stuff. I don't like it, I really hate 2011. Nobody knows how hard I'm trying to smile each day that I begin to feel that I'm so fake. I'm really on the verge of breaking down but idw to. You know I've every rights to do so. That feeling...who understand? Don't tell me you know how I'm feeling, dont say that just bcze of comforting me. I dont need anybody to comfort me, I'm fine.
I didn't know the feeling of knowing that you'll be losing someone you really love till the extreme that you're willing to sacrifice your life just to let that person live longer or to use your last breath to tell that person "I love you" hurts so much. Yes, so much. Knowing that you will be losing him and yet you can't do any fucking shit to hold him back nor stop him from leaving. Really hurts.
Anw, this is my sixthday w/o cigarettes. Happy quitting. Haha! Bye. Idw to type any longer, I'm afraid I can't hold on to these tears and let it fall. :|
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